7 Simple Steps to Revitalize your Relationship
Sometimes it is easy to take our relationship with our partner for granted, instead of viewing our relationship as something that needs to be tended and nurtured. Taking a relationship for granted is often common when stress and the business of life have our focus and attention. However, even if a relationship seems flat and routine at this point, there are simple steps that you can do to revitalize and renew your relationship. You and your partner can start to clear out the “staleness” and bring back vitality by utilizing some of these 7 simple steps.
1. Find something to appreciate about your partner each day and tell your partner what you appreciate about him or her. Often it is easy to take each other for granted in the day to day hustle and bustle of life. If you are the person who has not been appreciated, resentment can set in. Stopping to appreciate your partner sends the message to them that they matter and are a valuable part of your life. Even just a genuine “Thank you so much, you make a huge difference in my life,” feels wonderful to a partner.
2. Sometime it can feel like life is so busy, that it is hard to find time to be with your partner. Finding time to connect on a daily basis is important. One way is to turn off the television and talk to each other during dinner. Another way to connect is by exercising together.
3. Decide not to criticize your partner. This does not mean you avoid communicating with your partner if there is something that is bothering you, but communication does not need to take the form of criticism. For example, instead of saying, “You are such a slob, you always leave the bathroom so messy,” you might say, “Hey, I know if might seem like such a little thing, but would you mind putting the toothpaste cap back on and putting the toothpaste away after you have used it? Thank you, this would make me feel so good!”
4. Ask your partner how you can support him or her this week. A simple inquiry such as, “Is there anything I can do to make your week go more smoothly?” This might be picking up the laundry for your partner or going to grocery store.
5. Do something playful together. This might be taking a walk to a local park and swinging on a swing set, or going sledding in the snow. The activity is not that important as long as it is something that is fun and will encourage you both to laugh.
6. Start a new hobby together. Taking an art class together or taking ballroom dance lessons together are two possibilities. Doing an activity together where the focus is on sharing an experience together is the key.
7. Ask your partner when he or she feels most loved by you. Don’t anticipate the answer you will receive. Instead, try being open and listen fully to hear your partner. Likely, he or she will tell you one or two things that you have done – whether these gestures were writing an “I love you” note, bringing in firewood, or having a good conversation. This answer you receive is a clue that you can then follow. You can enrich your relationship by showing more love and affection to your partner in similar ways.
Even by trying one or 2 of these simple steps it can make a vast improvement in your relationship. Let me know what you try and how these steps work for you!
Deborah Barnett, Ph.D.
Manifesting Well-Being for Health and Success
