Enhance Your Relationship in 4 Easy Ways
Our relationship with our spouse or partner is one of the most valuable gifts that we have in our life. When we consider our partner not being present, it is almost unimaginable. However, sometimes our primary relationship is not easy. As a result, often our relationship does not receive the nurturing and acknowledgement that it deserves and needs in order to grow and flourish.
Following are 4 easy ways to enhance your relationship:
1. Take time to listen to your partner each day. It is amazing at how often our partner is speaking and we are not really listening, but instead thinking about what we are going to say next. Taking even 5 minutes a day to listen to your partner and giving him or her your undivided attention can make your partner feel heard and acknowledged. It is especially important for women to be able to talk for 5 minutes a day, uninterrupted by their husband or boyfriend. Dr. John Gray has found that when this happens, when the woman talks and the man does not feel that he needs to do anything or fix her in any way, it raises the “feel good” hormones of serotonin in the woman and dopamine in the man.
2. Make an effort not to make assumptions about your partner. This is not easy to do, especially when you have been with someone for a while. However, to keep communication open and to keep love flowing, this is essential. For example, if your husband picks up your child from soccer practice, thank him for making this effort instead of assuming that he knows you are grateful. If you normally go to your in-laws for Christmas, make sure that this is discussed far in advance and not assumed. Discussing plans in advance can often prevent misunderstandings and resentment from occurring.
3. Make sure your partner knows that he or she is loved – everyday! Different people receive love in different ways. Discuss this with your partner so that you each know what makes the other feel loved. If your husband loves to be hugged, make sure that you give him a few big, loving hugs everyday. When you say, “I love you” to your girlfriend, give these words your full attention and make sure they are filled with warmth.
4. Set aside activities to do together. So often people can be married and yet because their lives are so busy, they rarely see each other much less do any activities together. With a little creativity you can do activities together to enrich and enliven your relationship. Some activities include taking an art class together, exercising together, or making a date and having lunch together.
A relationship needs to be tended and cultivated in order to keep it vital and enriched. It is all too easy to take our relationship with our partner for granted, especially when life is very busy with other responsibilities calling for our attention. However, with love and dedication to your relationship with continue to deepen and thrive.
Deborah Barnett, Ph.D.
